D's Daze

Like seconds ticking away on my egg-timer.... these are the daze of my life

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

The First

So after a long & winding road- my internet connection at home is FINALLY up & running.
True...its just in time for me to leave (just 6 weeks to go) but Im actually GLAD I didnt get this organised earlier.
WHY?
Because the thing is quite addictive. If I got this thing earlier my social life (here)would have been over. In fact- I doubt I would have left my apartment. Actually...now that I think about it-I may already know someone here who has this problem.

Anyway...whats the big deal?
Well- until yesterday I was a messenger virgin. In other words- Id never done it.
Then last nite my clever pc told me when people logged on, and I even had my first on-line chat with someone I miss like crazy.
And I listened to my favourite radio station back home....

And if you are technology addicts- u are probably amused by my excitement.
In my defence I am a technologically DISADVANTAGED gal. This is a BIG DEAL for me!!

After all...we never forget the first time. Do we??

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

A Dream within a Dream

Last night I had an amazing dream...in it I was talking to an amazing friend. It was almost like she was in the room with me sliding under the killer kotatsu!
Or perhaps she was in Sendai- and calling to lecture me-like she frequently did.

And in my dreams she quickly set some of my childish fears, anxieties and dead end ideas to rest. In fact she very calmly in a very Bridget Jones no nonsense tone of voice made me relise that I was actually being unreasonable &/or overly emotional.

But shes a zillion miles away, and after 45 mniutes which passed like 5, I was left wide awake with the telephone receiver in my hand & a thousand memories which kept me awake for hours afterwards.

And most of all I was left with the DEFINATE, CERTAIN UNWAVERING knowledge of what real friendship is about.

Monday, June 14, 2004

Hop Along

Last week one of my students came to the Staff Room, stood infront of me & read off a little page.
"Danola-sensei" she said "hold out your left hand"
So I did.
She put on a simple silver ID Bracelet with my initials engraved onto it.
Then she proceeded to read a very badly translated message(the meaning of which I was only able to grasp because I had my dictionary on hand)
The gist of it was:
She has a matching bracelet and wants to swop with me before I leave, and she will never forget me and she hopes that I will never forget her.

Forget her? Hikari-chan? Never! Her not-so-straight teeth,but a lovely smile. One afternoon many months ago she walked with me & told me her tales of woe about her club activities. I tried to cheer her up- but tears was all I got.
So I the next day I asked her to have lunch with me-which we did in a quiet shady spot on the school roof. She gave me an onigiri(rice ball)
Her English is not GREAT but she tries pretty hard...she even interviewed my Brother when he was here as part of her homework assignment.
She hurt her leg twice and had it in a cast- so I called her "Hop-Along"...and when she finally understood what I meant she smiled shyly each time I teased her!

Kids like Hikari, experiences like these make me love where I am and what Im doing.

And I DEFINATELY wont forget my sweet shy "Hop Along"

Friday, June 11, 2004

The Skip Function

A lifetime ago (it was actually just a couple of months-but it feel like an aeon has passed) I was lamenting on about my desire for a skip function.
In my fantasy I had a Skip Function (like the one on the DVD Remote Control)and I could just skip through scenes that I didnt want to watch.
Basically a fast forward function-which would take me to the good parts quickly.
However that fantasy got beaten up by Bridget & Twiddledum. And they warned against switching off Japan and missing out on the various experiences here that were yet to come.

Anyway, now Bridget has gone(I have yet to get through a day without wanting to tell her something)...and my fantasy is back.

And NO: I dont think Iv switched off Japan.
Nor do I think Im missing out on any of the awesome things or people that are a part of my time here.
I KNOW I have six weeks left and Im NOT going to be able to repeat this experience in a lifetime of wanting to.
I KNOW THAT!!

BUT there are days when I wish I DID have a skip function.
I wish I could skip the scene in which I spend 8hours a day sitting at my desk watching the clock or worse:watching my nails grow.
I wish I could skip the week before mid term tests and the actual week of the test when I have no lessons. Like right NOW!!

Its during these LONG hours-that I think about the next scene.
Life AFTER Jet.
Everything I hope to be doing and everything I have to do before I get to be doing it. I have a million ideas and plans and...instead of atually being able to DO anything....
Im sitting in a staff room watching the clock tick & reading about the Dolphin Freeking Hotel!!! (Dance Dance Dance-quite good actually)

B, Twiddledum...sorry...but I WANT A SKIP FUNCTION!!!

Thursday, June 10, 2004

Im a Predecessor

Its rather wierd- but I just realised last night: Im a "Predecessor"

My first few weeks in Shiogama were filled with unexpected discoveries. My apartment was stuffed with things my Predecessor had left which I had no need for.Its really great that she was into baking & stuff-but I DEFINATELY didnt need so many baking trays,or TWO TVs niether one of which could be watched!!

And so a huge part of my arrival culture shock involved making my apartment MINE. Throwing out things that I knew I would never use (or just passing them onto Shaz!)& just generally making the apartment reflect MY personality. My love of light & open spaces as opposed to gloomy & cluttered ones!

And now-the table have turned. I have a Successor. A Young Lad (22!!) from Scotland. And I cant help but wonder what he will think of my apartment and the personality reflected in the things I will be leaving there.
Ok-I KNOW what hes going to think about the Pooh-san curtains hanging in my bedroom....
but will he appreciate the Blue CD Player or the Blue Coffee Perculator...
He doesnt know the memories associated with either one...how COULD he value these little appliances like I do?
Nor does he know about my super duper bilingual TV or Alice my Heated Toilet seat....

In fact the whole apartment is filled with reminders of laughter and tears, joys & fraustrations, Friends and many memories we made in two years....

And all he will see....is furniture!!

Thursday, June 03, 2004

FULL MOON

I believe that cold weather without snow, is a waste of cold.
So Im actually GLAD that the Miyagi weather has finally made up its mind & warmed up! Now the days are bright and filled with warm, comfortable sunshine. It reminds me of most days back home!
However I know that this lovely time is a passing thing. Soon Japan's fifth season(the Rainy Season) will start and with it will come the sticky, muggy, unbearable humidity...
But...that is then...and this is NOW!

For the last two nights, I have been captivated by the clear sky and the huge, beautiful, FULL moon.
I recently moved my bed-so its now alongside my balcony doors.
I turned off all the lights and lay in the silvery moonlight. And watched the rabbits on the moon. (I never saw rabbits until I heard the Japanese custom on this)
And I remembered a special Chinese Poem:
A thousand miles apart, we gaze upon the same moon, and wish long life & happiness to those we love.

That would have been one very painful tattoo. I cant help but wonder how true it is right now?And I wonder how true it will be in the future???
D

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

Sincerest Apologies

Ok...so Iv recently discovered that there actually ARE people out there who want to know whats happening in my life...and take the time out to read this thing!
Im seriously sorry for not updating this Blog regularly. My only excuse is that I was moody & mizerable and you should actually be GLAD that I wasnt filling this space with melodramatic emotional mumbo jumbo!!

But I think that phase has passed. The weather has warmed up nicely, and D is back to being positive, optimistic & full of KAK.

Today in my first year class we played a guessing game. 1 group gives hints & other groups guess what they are hinting at.
One hint was "It is very beautiful"
One eager beaver boy shouts "Danola-sensei"

This made me smile.(a) because he thinks Im an "IT" and (b)because of the obvious compliment.
Its amazing how this simple silly event sent home the fact that IM LEAVING this place. This school. These WONDERFUL people....

For sure...Im EXCITED as hell to get outa here. To Start a new exciting life.
But at the same time Im SAD. I feel a sense of loss & lonliness that is unlike anything Iv ever know.

A wise man told me last night:"To get something you have to lose something." And sadly enough I know he is right...

BUT while Im here...Im DETERMINED to enjoy being an "IT"

D